Faith, Whānau and Finding Identity: Erica Kearse’s Journey of Reconnection

Sometimes the journey home isn’t about distance, but about rediscovery – of people, of story, and of identity.

For Captain Erica Kearse, reconnecting with the Māori side of her whānau has been both a meaningful and stretching journey – one she says has only been possible because of her faith.

As the Corps Officer and pastor at Mount Albert, Erica had always known her Croatian heritage, but her connection to her Māori identity remained largely unexplored.

“I feel like I’m only just beginning to step into my Māori identity, and I’m approaching it with a real sense of curiosity,” she says. “I’m really loving it, but I’m also aware I have so much to learn. It can feel a bit scary at times – but in a good way. I don’t always know what I’m doing, but I’m learning as I go, and just trying to come with an open heart.”

Erica grew up knowing her nana’s side of the family—the Urlich whānau—but knew little about the Pomana side, her grandfather’s lineage.

“My koro, Norman, passed away before I was born, so I never met him. There’s so much I don’t know about him, but as I’ve started exploring that side, I’ve also been reconnecting with whānau I didn’t really know before. It’s brought me closer in ways I wasn’t expecting, and that’s been really special.”

A significant part of that journey unfolded last December, when Erica returned photos of her ancestors to her family marae, Karangahape, near Kaeo in Te Tai Tokerau.

“It was a real honour,” she says.

“Karangahape has been through a lot over the years – our church building has experienced flooding and had to be repaired many times, eventually being completely rebuilt. So it felt deeply significant to bring those photos back.”

One image in particular carries a story she holds closely.

“There’s a photograph of me that I took that morning that might not look like much at first glance, but behind it is something really special. My great-grandfather, Clem Urlich, once said to my father, ‘One day my moko will stand beneath the trees I’ve planted, as they grow tall.’ That photo is me standing there now—it feels like a quiet fulfilment of those words, spoken generations ago.”

Her journey of reconnection also included her mother’s unveiling at Karangahape Marae.

“I was one of the only Christians there—apart from a friend who lead the service—and we sang Tuhia Ki Te Rangi at the urupā. It might have seemed like an unusual choice, but I just knew it was the right one.”

Afterwards, her wider whānau began sharing openly. Despite living near one another, many had become disconnected over time through shared hurt and historical trauma.

“There’s been a lot of disconnection,” Erica says. “But something about that waiata and that service brought people back together. Those lines—‘your love has freed us, we’re free indeed’ and ‘spoken to our pain, revealing hope again’—really landed for people.”

Looking back, she says her faith gave her the courage to step into that space.

“Being a Salvation Army officer has given me a sense of confidence and, in some ways, the permission to go there. That’s been really important for me.”

Bringing together her Christian faith and her growing connection to te ao Māori hasn’t always been straightforward.

“It can be challenging – especially as Ngāpuhi. So much of our carvings and heritage was taken or destroyed, and there’s a deep mamae in that,” she says. “In my nana’s time, they didn’t go to the marae because they were Croatian. The Māori didn’t fully accept them, and neither did the Pākehā.”

Even so, she has experienced moments that feel new and significant.

“It was really special to sit together with everyone at the new marae. I hadn’t experienced that kind of togetherness before—it felt really meaningful.”

For Erica, this journey of reconnection reflects the heart of the Easter message.

“When I think about Easter—the cross and the resurrection—it’s about bringing things back together. It’s about restoration, about healing what has been lost.”

This Easter, Erica will be taking part in an ecumenical Good Friday walk with local churches, followed by a dawn service at the top of Ōwairaka (Mt Albert) on Easter Sunday.

“It’s a really beautiful service, and then we gather again for our morning service at Mount Albert.”

The season also marks the conclusion of a recent sermon series at the corps, Faith Through Canvas, which explores faith through art.

“Recently we shared a really powerful service with Walter Aranui, reflecting on ‘Jesus in a Korowai’ – an artwork at St Faith’s Anglican Church in Rotorua,” she says. “Walter spoke about how, before he found Christ, he wore a korowai that felt heavy and dark – one of addiction – and then he exchanged that for Christ. It was such a moving message.”

As Erica reflects on her own journey, she sees a beautiful connection between her whānau, her faith, and the hope of Easter.

“Just like the trees my great-grandfather planted, I feel like my journey is rooted in something much bigger than me. The love, the connections, and the restoration I’ve experienced—it all reminds me that new life can grow from what was once lost.”